The Moblin, the Stalchild, and the Carpenter
by Triforce90
Summary: This has NOTHING to do with The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Instead, it is a dream I had one night. A dream so screwed up that I had to write it down and put it up for others to see. Please, step inside the world of my dreams... And know, they're


Dreams . . . Dreams are wonderful things. It gives us stuff to do while we sleep, while in reality, we are still snug in our beds. It may solve some of our problems, or make us see things that will happen. I tell no lie, it happened to me once. The episode of _The Golden Girls_ that was on that day **was** the one that I dreamed of!

And then, I had another dream. Most of my dreams are made up of the most random things. This may include being frenched by a blue-eyed, blonde haired girl in a land that had purple trees, blue grass, green water, and pink sky with purple clouds, which is, in fact, another dream I had. It was strange, indeed, but the strangeness was the beauty of it all.

I had another dream on the night of September 12, 2004. The dream was indeed random, and the point of this dream, I cannot explain. However, I do know that it happened sometime in the plot of the popular Zelda game, _Ocarina of Time_. And thus, I write this dream down, to remember it always. I hope you enjoy it!

This is my dream . . .

* * *

Link smiled as he pocketed the Forest Medallion. He then made his way down the Sacred Forest Meadow, unaware that the Moblins were still there. He made his way through the maze unharmed, but completely unaware that a Moblin was following him.

As he exited the Kokiri Village, he heard the screams of the Kokiri. They seemed to be saying "RUN BIG MAN! RUN!". Knowing that he was the only big man around, he turned behind him to see the Moblin standing right there. His eyes were bloodshot, and he glared at our Hero. He then made a grunt and lifted his spear.

"Well. Shit," said Link to himself as he ran away. He didn't want to deal with the Moblin for fear of the Kokiri kids witnessing the death of a huge, freaky bulldog type thing with chain shorts.

Once in Hyrule Field, he noticed the Moblin still running after him. He turned around and brought his sword upon the Moblins head, making it cry out in pain. It fell to the ground and vanished in green flame. Link smiled upon this event and walked around Hyrule Field.

It was then he came across the carpenter man with the afro, running away from a giant Stalchild. Why a Stalchild was out and about in the middle of the day, he did not know. But he must save the carpenter with the afro!

(A/N: I forgot his name. I shall call him Afro Dude)

Link ran to the fleeing Afro Dude, and apparently the giant Stalchild saw him, for he threw his arms into the air and screamed, "AACK! BAD SWORDSMAN!" and killed himself. He then disappeared and burned in green flame.

"Woah! You saved me!" said Afro Dude.

Link turned around to smile, but when his eyes met Afro Dude's, they popped out of his head. The Afro Dude's afro had been replaced with an afro made of fire!

"Uh," said Link, staring at the man's burning afro. "Don't mean to sound sudden or anything, but your hair is on fire."

"It is?" asked Afro Dude, looking at the boy in green confusedly. "Are you sure? I don't feel anything."

Link, remembering Saria's advice to anyone who sounded strange, smiled and nodded. That's all it was: smile and nod.

It was then rock legend John Lennon appeared out of thin air and stated, simply, "You are not the man with the flaming pie!" and disappeared.

(A/N: Please look at the bottom of this story once you have finished to understand what that means. Thank you.)

Afro Dude looked around, teeth chattering, and said, "There could be more monsters hiding around! If I don't hide, I'm screwed!" He then looked at Link and said. "Where should I hide?"

"Well," said Link, thinking. "You could hide in Kakariko Village!"

"Thank man! I owe you one!" The man with the flaming afro ran off to the village. Link, curious at what the afro man would do, followed him.

Once outside Kakariko Village, Link climbed the nearest tree. He could see all of the village from there, and soon spotted Afro Dude running around, looking for a place to hide. Stupidly, he hid behind a tree, Scooby-Doo style. But because of his flaming hair, the tree soon caught fire.

"Fuck!" shouted Afro Dude, astounded by his bad luck. And so, he ran towards the nearest house, hoping that they might let him take shelter. Link watched, and about 5 minutes later, the house caught on fire, with its owners and the man with the flaming hair running out of it, screaming.

Link couldn't help but laugh. He clutched his gut in pain as he continued to watch from the safety of the tree. Within minutes, the whole village had been caught on fire, and soon the smell of barbecue wafted through the air. Link's mouth watered, but then stopped once he realized that the whole village had been turned to smoke, along with its residents.

Link was afraid, and decided to move to America, where he knew that people did not have afros made of fire, and that buildings were made out of material that didn't burn to well.

* * *

And there you have it. That was my dream.

The John Lennon thing that comes up has something to do with John Lennon's theory of how "The Beatles" got their name. Here is a direct quote made by him:

_"Once upon a time there were three little boys called John, George and Paul, by name christened. They decided to get together because they were the getting together type. When they were together, they all wondered what for after all, what for? So all of a sudden they grew guitars and formed a noise. Funnily enouhg, no one was interested, least of all the three little men. Sooo . . . on discovering a fourth little even littler man called Stuart Sutcliffe running about them, they said, quote: 'Sonny, get a bass guitar and you will be all right,' and he did – but he wasn't all right because he couldn't play it. So they sat on him with comfort till he could play. Still there was no beat, and a kindly old aged man said, quote: 'Thou hast not drums!' We had no drums! they coffed. So a series of drums came and went and came. Suddenly, in Scotland, touring with Johnny Gentle, the group (called The Beatles called) discovered they had not a very nice song – because they had no amplifiers. They go some. Many people ask what are Beatles? Why Beatles? Ugh, Beatles, how did the name arrive? So we will tell you. It came in a vision – a man appeared on a flaming pie and said to unto them, 'From this day on you are Beatles with an A.' – 'Thank you, Mister Man,' they said, thanking him."_

And there you have it. That's what "flaming pie" is referred to. I love Zelda, and I'm _**CRAZY** _about the Beatles, so I guess that might be how the two got mixed up.

Please Review. I want to know what people think of my screwed up imagination. An imagination so screwed that I would have a dream like this.


End file.
